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Don’t ignore the white elephant in the room! Or the LED princess wands. Or the feather headdress. Or the … wait, where am I? No, Dorothy, you’re not in Kansas anymore … thank GOD!

You’re at one of THE parties of the year. The Bizarre Bazaar, a schmorgasboard of camaraderie, calamity and candor conceived by a few of the most twisted and creative minds I’ve ever encountered. Stumble your way to Porch next Saturday, April 12. Take a deep breath and pray it will be your last … no, your first, as you become a part of one of the most interesting birthday shindigs I’ve been witness to.

For the noobs, this is the annual Dancing Rams birthday party, in honor of “Aries Gone Wild” Wendy and Nora, and it is a do-not-miss event, introducing you to some of the weirdest traditions that make you go “hmmm.” And then “ooo.” Then “OH YEAH … YAY!”

Curious? You should be.

Grab a wig, a boa (feather or constrictor) and come.on.down.

Bizarre Bazaar takes place Saturday, April 12th from 2pm to 10pm at Porch, 115 Ave C (Between 7th & 8th). 212.475.1515.

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I didn’t plan to blog the Whitney Biennial because you’d have to be deaf, dumb and blind to miss the media barrage about the perpetually over-hyped fest, but there are some ridiculously awesome events that cannot go unmentioned.

Next weekend is a 24-hour dance-a-thon, complete with dance cards to measure how long people hold out. The event takes place Saturday, March 15 11 am-Sunday, March 16 11 am.

Next up, Abat-Jour, a gypsy-themed bacchanal staged by Rita Ackermann and Agathe Snow on Sunday March 23rd. The evening centers around a gypsy game of confidence called bajour and will feature dancing after 9:30pm. WithDom Perignon as a host, this happening should prove classy. Register ASAP because space is limited.

Then there’s a slumber party — yes, a SLUMBER PARTY! DJ Olive hosts an artsy overnighter at the Company Room L in the Park Avenue Armory. The event lasts from 10pm-10am, March 22nd to March 23rd. Feetie pajamas not required but definitely encouraged.

Other events include a panel on the movie Scarface, fifteen-minute portraits, collaborative music making and a homemade tequila bar. The museum is open late most nights, making for a great date.

Click here for a listing of events. Most of the after-dark events take place at the Park Avenue Armory. Info on the Whitney Museum of American Art found here.

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